I Can't
by fireaangel
Summary: Evidently it was impossible for her to break the cycle of pain she brought others. Clearly forgiveness was something she was never meant to have. And for him, losing this game was out of the question. Too bad it was never a game to start with.


_**I Can't**_

 _Warnings: Contains Japanese (used sparingly; no random "hai"s or anything that can be sufficiently replaced with English]), angst, and drama which may or may not be romantic, depending on which way you tilt your head._

 _Comments: The original idea for this story came from a daydream in 2010, and went on from there. In its current form, it hardly resembles its original plot, but trust me. This one is much, much better._

* * *

It has been said that hurting people hurt people. Those people can then, in turn, be hurt worse by those they harm. It can become a terrible cycle of pain that has no winner, no loser, and perhaps no end. And there are those, like me, who once thought that they were immune, for the most part, to such damage, especially that which is dealt by outsiders. Outsiders—not enemies, not rivals... Those who are like friends, but who, for whatever reason, could never truly be.

Plainly-stated enemies, namely those with elaborate plans to harm not only you, but everyone who they might deem useful in furthering their (evil) plot, will of course manage to hurt you in some way, even if only indirectly. But their actions are readable. You have a generally-sound course that you can take in responsive action to their schemes. Rivals, on the other hand, are not out to harm you necessarily, but to knock you down. It is thanks to them that you never lose your edge, for they are always sharpening theirs against you. Iron sharpens iron, therefore, the damage they may cause is fleeting.

The outsider, however, is neither conniving enough to be an enemy nor challenging enough to be a rival. In fact, at least in my situation, neither was she purposeful enough to even attempt to be like one. But based on the few encounters and the numbered words that were exchanged between us, I knew enough about her to know that she _would_ at least be different from everyone else. What I didn't know was all that lay underneath her detached exterior, or how that pain she carried like a parasite would translate into being a thorn in _my_ side.

I had no charted route to take in dealing with her, no suitable cookie-cutter response, but I accepted the challenge by default. And, for a time, it seemed that I was doing rather well considering the situation. But it was not long at all before the enigma of her wrapped its chains around me and dragged me down to the depths until I was completely, utterly lost.

And it hurt.

"I can't go back to that," I told myself, many times.

But I couldn't move on, either.

-o-o-o-

Yozaihou Urami stood to the side of the teacher's desk, staring at the door through which she had entered the classroom moments ago. It was a room she had not seen before, filled with people unfamiliar to her, yet a situation to which she was no stranger. In a sense it had even begun to get monotonous-being the new transfer student again. Urami felt little point in even looking out into the classroom, because it wasn't likely that this pattern of her life would change.

She was starting school in the middle of the first semester, which to be honest, wasn't as big of a deal as she had tried to make it out to be. Begging her parents to let her wait until the next school year had accomplished nothing; they had insisted on her going, saying that it was useless to fall behind over such a petty thing.

Petty or not, they didn't seem to understand that she was _tired_ of repeating this over and over again. How many times had they moved now? Urami hardly bothered to count anymore, and there was always a new school involved. 'High school isn't even mandatory,' she had protested the last time, but her parents had been very clear when they laid down the law: she would finish high school, test into a decent university, and graduate with a degree in business-never mind the fact that she had no desire for a business-world career…

The girl apathetically glanced over her new homeroom classmates, trying to ignore the ones who were staring at her, starting to whisper to others about her, or both. She really didn't enjoy being the object of such attention; it was unsettling and meant that she had to work harder to appear aloof, so the chances of her interacting on a deeper level with the other students would be low from the beginning.

Thankfully the teacher seemed privy to her discomfort. "Let's stop with the whispers," the teacher abruptly ordered in a loud voice, and one by one the whispers slowly began to die down until the class sat in silence. Nearly everyone had their eyes fixed on Urami, waiting for the introduction they knew was to follow.

"Now, then… I would like you all to meet Yozaihou Urami, our new student. Yozaihou-san has moved here from Sapporo because of her father's work, and as she has never been to our city before, I would like you all to make her feel welcome." Giving Urami a hurried glance, the teacher finished the brief introduction with a "So please treat her well."

After writing her name on the blackboard behind her, Urami turned back to face the class and bowed stiffly with a quiet " _Yoroshiku onegaishimasu_ " before making her way towards the back of the room, trying to ignore the whispering that had once again broken out among the students. The only empty desk was in front of a short-haired brunette girl, who smiled at her silently, but pleasantly, as Urami pulled out the chair and sat down.

This seat was two rows over from the window, which disappointed her a bit; she preferred sitting next to the window so that she could look outside and tune out anyone who tried to talk to her, save for the teacher of course. Sitting in the middle of the class like this was not on her favorites list. Contrary to the opinions of the whispering students, she didn't like sitting in the back either. It was too far from the front of the room for her; she preferred being closer to the teacher and the board because it made it easier to pay attention. Sitting in the middle of the class was too distracting, what with students whispering and passing notes and all.

But window seats allowed a bit of breathing room, and offered fewer distractions than most of the other seats. At a place right next to the open world, it was almost like you were there by yourself—like that world beyond the glass was yours, just yours.

One thing was different here, though. Urami was used to being in classes with several empty seats, but thanks to her presence, _this_ classroom was now entirely full. It was almost claustrophobic. Maybe tomorrow she could come early and snag a coveted window seat… Or were the seats assigned here?

Now the other students were glancing/looking/ _staring_ at her almost in a pattern of sorts, which was rather amusing but also annoying. Why did they have to look? She was an ordinary girl with shoulder-length auburn hair, pale skin and honey-colored eyes, and of course she was wearing the same uniform that all the other girls in the school were wearing, so aside from being the only girl in class to wear a black, collared shirt instead of a white one (and perhaps her eye color), nothing about her really made her stand out. So why should these people feel the need to look at her?

Wanting to have nothing to do with anyone until much later, Urami chose not to interact with anyone the whole school day besides sparing a few words on the girl who had been sitting behind her. The girl, whose name was Mazaki Anzu, offered to show her around the school after classes were done for the day, and though she was hesitant at first, Urami accepted; she needed a tour of the place anyway and it wasn't like she had anything better to do.

After seeing the entire school and concluding that it was similar enough to the one she had transferred from that she shouldn't get too lost, Urami ended up following her acquaintance back to the classroom, where some students were still lingering (perhaps working on homework or after-school projects?). There was a group of boys by the window, and to Urami's displeasure, Anzu was heading straight for them.

"Hey, Anzu!" One of them called out, and the others echoed with their own greetings. All four of them seemed to pause mid-wave when their eyes rested on Urami, like they were deciding whether or not they should wave at her. In the end, they just nodded at her a bit and turned their attention back to Anzu, who, with a smile, asked what they were doing.

"Playing two-on-two Duel Monsters!" the blonde directly in front of Urami answered. "'Cept it's more like one on one 'cause these guys…" He pointed with his thumb to the two sitting closest to the window. "…aren't being much help at all."

"Well, _excuse me_ for not knowing enough about the game," the boy sitting to the blonde's right snapped. He then crossed his arms and smirked. "Maybe if you'd bother to _teach_ me I could actually _be_ as lame as you."

"What'd you say?!"

"I knew I shouldn't have been on your team."

"Ya got that right! I've been pulling all the weight in this duel."

"What weight? We've been _losing_ the whole time."

"Thanks to _you_!"

"Guys, stop it!" Anzu barked. "If you're on the same team, just stick with it until the end. If you don't have faith in each other, how can you possibly hope to win?"

"Yeah, but do you see what we're up against?"

"Have you guys learned _nothing_ from everything we've been through? You're friends! You have to believe in each other _and_ in your cards."

At this point, Urami began to tune out of the dialogue exchange, as it was obvious she had been forgotten and the encouragement from Anzu and the banter between the guys was quickly getting rather repetitive. She instead took to looking around, listening for names so she might put one with an appearance.

The blonde boy had an honest face and eager brown eyes, and right away Urami could tell that he had an outgoing (and...probably blunt) personality, but that was a type of personality she was used to being around—it was easy to hide behind. Next to him was his apparent teammate, a boy with brown hair and muted brown eyes, who evidently was the more practical one of the two…if they really had been losing the whole time, it made sense to talk about why that was the case.

Across from the brunette was a white-haired boy with large, chocolate brown eyes and a very calm expression on his face despite the arguing going on in front of him. He reminded Urami a bit of a puppy, and with his gentle demeanor he certainly fit the term 'docile'. What was strange about him was his hair color (a teenager with white hair?), but then again, some people did color their hair, didn't they?

And that _had_ to be the case for the fourth boy, because his hair not only shot up in every direction, but was three different colors, too. Tipped with deep magenta, the main part of it was black, and its jagged bangs were of various lengths in a bright blonde color. It looked…dangerous, and yet the boy himself didn't. He seemed to be open and bright, a character that Urami had only seen in a select few of her former friends. His eyes nearly matched the magenta in his hair, but were almost purple; that was definitely an unusual eye color, but that meant Urami wasn't the only one with that "problem". That was nice. And best she could tell, he had to be about the same height as her-maybe she wasn't the shortest person in the school this time.

" _Anyway_ ," Anzu's raised voice brought Urami's attention back to her, "can't you see that there's someone standing next to me? I want to introduce her to you."

The four boys stared unanimously first at Anzu, and then at Urami, answering in unison: "Yeah."

Anzu rolled her eyes. "Gee, you could have _said_ something…"

Unsurprisingly, the blonde was the one who responded. "Well, we were in the middle of talking to you; what'd you expect?"

"Never mind… Since you _obviously_ weren't paying attention earlier..." Anzu gestured to Urami as she spoke. "This is Yozaihou Urami, the new transfer student from Sapporo. I finished showing her around a few minutes ago and thought I would introduce you guys to her."

The blonde's eyes lit up with recognition and he addressed Urami directly. "Oh yeah! That was your name. Heya, Urami!"

"Jounouchi! Don't be so familiar," Anzu scolded her friend, but it really wasn't necessary. Urami was used to being called by her first name rather than her last, which she deemed rather unfortunate because of what her first name meant. Sure, it was easier to say than 'Yozaihou,' but… Well, it didn't matter. No doubt she would get tagged with a nickname like she usually did.

Jounouchi continued on without missing a beat. "I'm Jounouchi. And this here is Honda, Ryou, and Yugi." Gesturing to each member of the group in turn, he introduced them, starting to his right (and skipping Anzu of course). "So… Do you go by your first name or what? Seems kinda…"

"People usually give me nicknames," Urami explained curtly, prompting Jounouchi to go into thinking mode.

Apparently pretending the comment had not been made, Anzu picked up right where she left off. "I thought maybe she could hang out with us for a little while. You know, to help her get settled in and all."

Urami smiled hesitantly. She had been hoping to get through her first day at this school without being drafted into a group of friends. Too many times had she become close to others only to be torn away from them thanks to another relocation of her father's job. No companions she had could be truly kept when it would only last for a short while.

"I-I'll be fine," she tried to assure this group. "Really, I'm not very good at 'hanging out' anyway."

By the same token, if Urami _did_ stay with them, she would _have_ to stay with them because she wouldn't know anyone else—and since getting to know other people wasn't exactly her strong suit, neither joining a group nor trying to meet other individuals would work out very well. Ah, the difficulties of being the new kid.

 _I'll only let you down,_ she told the group silently, begging them with her eyes to agree with her and leave her alone. But as usual, her silent hints were misread completely. "No, we wouldn't mind."

Urami slumped forward slightly. If only she hadn't needed a tour of the school in the first place…

"Anyway, it's nice to meet you," Yugi and Honda said almost in unison, after which Ryou echoed with a simple "Yes!"

"You too," the brunette mumbled awkwardly, being more than done with the introductions. She gestured towards the cards covering the desk in front of her, hoping to use them as a distraction. "Uh, what is that you're playing?"

Yugi looked surprised, and so did everyone else. "This? It's called Duel Monsters. You've never heard of it?"

"No…" Urami deadpanned, though that wasn't actually true. While she had, in fact, heard of the game, she knew next to nothing about it. In her opinion, however, it was both easier _and_ safer to simply say no, because that way she wouldn't have to explain.

"It's a trading card game that… Well, I'd explain it all to you, but there's a lot to explain… Hey, what kinds of games do you like to play?"

"…Chess… Go… I like board games," Urami answered quietly. "I don't care much for card games."

 _That_ was the magic phrase that made hardcore TCG and CCG players (and fans of such things) realize they were better off leaving her alone, at least where that type of game was concerned. It was pretty much foolproof, which meant that she wouldn't have to deal with people rattling on about their hobby to her, or trying to get her interested in it, either.

"Oh, okay."

The conversation ended, just like that, which left Urami feeling triumphant at having conquered what might have been a small, yet powerful key to forging a bond with her, had she been anybody else. The small moment of elation quickly faded, however, once Urami registered that she was now in the typical "newbie" situation of watching in silence while the group of friends she'd just been introduced to continued their game and conversations.

Left out of place again and in her own little world, she opted to gaze beyond the group and out the window to the open world beyond, imagining what it would have been like if she had grown up in this city rather than Sapporo. What if she hadn't moved all over Creation the past few years? Would the exchange she had just had gone differently? Maybe she might have known this group growing up, or another group here...or maybe she would have been more outgoing, as several people in this school seemed to be.

The longer she sat there, the more she drifted into herself, and after several long minutes, Urami began to feel a bit better.

"I need to go," she announced. "My dad won't be happy if I'm not out there waiting for him."

"Oh? Does he drive you to and from school?"

"No, I ride the train. He's only picking me up today because it's my first day here or something."

"Okay. Do you need us to show you the way to the entrance?"

Urami slung her messenger bag over her shoulder. "No thanks. I can take care of myself." But when she reached the hallway and looked both ways, she realized she really _didn't_ remember how to get back to the entrance; it was one of the things very different from her previous school. She turned around and scratched the back of her head sheepishly. "Um, on second thought…"

* * *

The sun hadn't quite begun to bathe the world with fiery colors, but one could tell it would happen soon. Several of the lingering students were making their way outside along with Urami, chatting amongst themselves.

Anzu and the others (the "pals", as Urami had decided to call them) were following suit even as they walked behind Urami through the schoolyard and toward the gate. She didn't understand why _all five_ of them had decided to walk out with her—she only needed one person to show her the way—but she also didn't care to ask them about it, and so was left to ignore the conversation going on behind her—

"UYAMIIIIIN!" The loud voice shocked the entire campus into near silence, and Urami cringed as the car belonging to that voice abruptly pulled up to the gate, which was only about ten steps away. The black automobile's right-hand door opened and out stepped a man dressed in a dark-gray business suit, complete with shined shoes and a dark-blue tie. His gently-spiked ombre hair was a brown two shades darker than Urami's, that melted into a dark blonde underneath, at the back. He was so well put-together that perhaps he would look almost regal...if it wasn't for the large button pinned onto the front of his blazer bearing '#1 Urami fan' in hot pink romaji.

"Dad…" Urami whined quietly, covering her face with one hand.

Yozaihou Rakuji strode over to her, crossing the distance between them in only a few steps. Now that he was right in front of her, standing at his full height, Urami had to look up to see his face, silently bemoaning her height—or lack thereof—as she did nearly every day. Her father's eyes, identical to her own in color, sparkled as he regarded her with something akin to pride.

"Uyamin, how was your first day of school?"

"I don't know…" Urami muttered, quickly looking past her father to the car and hoping the "pals" behind her would be invisible to his sight.

"Make any new friends?"

So he saw them. Oh well. Wishful thinking.

Determined not to get sucked into an embarrassing conversation, Urami ignored the question altogether. "Do you _have_ to ask me that right away?" She took a step towards the car, but turned to watch his reaction.

The man looked rather sheepish when he replied. "Sorry, Uyamin… I just want to make sure you get off to a good start here so we don't have a repeat of what happened in seventh grade. You remember…"

Urami didn't let him finish that sentence, interrupting with: "But I'm fine now. I don't have those problems anym..." But she also didn't get the chance to finish hers. Her energetic father was ready to get back on the road.

"Well, anyway, let's go! We have a meeting to go to; your mother won't be meeting us there, because she is working on finishing some code for that one project. You can do your homework on the way."

"But why do I have to go _again_?" Urami complained, quickly deciding to try another tactic. "It _is_ my first day at this school after all. Why make me go on a day like this?"

Her father gave a hearty laugh, and Urami knew her new attempt at an excuse had failed. "Why not?" he shrugged, and put on an honest smile. "We enjoy having you go to technique and training meetings! It's good for learning business principles. You'll start out in university way ahead of everyone else!"

With that he pushed Urami into the backseat and shut the door behind her. After he slid back into the car, he took off, leaving a large cloud of dust behind. In the aftermath, the group Urami had just met was left wondering what had just happened.

-o-o-o-

After having survived the business meeting, the ride home was unsurprisingly uneventful; Urami sitting in the backseat and attempting to do her homework and her father both driving and talking on his cell phone. The radio was quietly playing some new J-Pop song that Urami hadn't heard before, so she couldn't mentally sing along; for the moment, it was either homework or scenery-watching. Letting out a sigh, Urami closed her science book and fit her school materials back into her bag. The scenery outside the window was currently _much_ more appealing than any sort of bookwork, so settling back in her seat, she chose to soak in the sights as they passed by.

After they had moved to Domino City, it had taken Urami a little while before she would even let herself look at anything besides the ground. In her mind, this place was just another city with another school filled with people she didn't want to meet. She didn't want to get accustomed to it or attached to anything or anyone in it. It was meaningless.

But she had finally resolved to at least enjoy some of the city, and pay respect to strangers where respect was due. In school, and in those darned meetings her parents dragged her to (how they even got permission for her to attend them remained a mystery), she could withdraw from everyone and be as bitter as she liked. Polite yet withdrawn…what sort of character was that?

The window was currently framing lines of street vendors selling produce, and trees in planters decorating the sidewalk, as the tell-tale signs of city life transitioned into the more residential areas.

Actually, Urami decided, Domino was quite pleasant. It was a large city, and yet it had comfortably-sized pockets of communities with small-town vibes. Were she just passing through, or even if she were just able to get through school without anyone talking to her, maybe she wouldn't mind living here.

When Rakuji pulled into their apartment building's parking lot a few minutes later, Urami pressed the side of her forehead against the window and looked up to see if she could tell whether or not the curtains were open on the second floor. A few times during the unloading and unpacking process, her mother had been watching for them from the living room windows, but today, though the curtains were open, her mother's face did not appear behind the glass panes.

The Yozaihou family lived in a building that was five stories tall, and had formerly been a small hotel. Thanks to renovations a few years prior to their moving in, all of the rooms had been converted into identical apartments; four per floor, two on each side of the preexisting hotel hallway. Urami's family lived on the left side, overlooking the parking lot which, while not incredibly interesting, was a lot more appealing than the other side, which boasted the view of a fenced construction site, and overlooked the trash collection area.

As her father parked and turned off the car, Urami glanced to her left to make sure she had all of her things and noticed that the listing for their apartment was still sitting on the car seat. Shouldn't they have brought that inside by now? It had the specific apartment number on it and everything…

 _Well, I guess I'll bring it in,_ Urami decided, and picked it up. She scanned it with her eyes briefly before getting out of the car, shutting the door, and following Rakuji to their building.

"No pets" was one of the things that had stood out to her for some reason about this particular listing—well, past listing. Aside from that, no matter how many times she read the packet, it was always easy to skim the photos of the interior. It had plain, white walls and bamboo floors stained a medium-dark brown; the _genkan_ , the entryway containing the shelved cabinet in which everyone stored their shoes, was smaller in real life than it was in the photo; and once you stepped up into the rest of the apartment, you could see most of it after taking a few more steps forward.

Straight across from the genkan, according to the diagram and the photos, was the living room. Lined on the left wall with floor-to-ceiling bookcases, and the right wall with a low entertainment center and flatscreen TV, it could have easily ended up as nothing more than a dull box, were it not for the wide windows on the farthest wall. Offset a comfortable distance from the window was a two-cushion couch, and a low table that served as the dining room table.

To the left of the genkan was the home office, where Urami's parents worked whenever they were not at the office. They hadn't changed it much from the original listing; even the L-shaped desk made of dark wood was in the same spot. To the right of the genkan was the kitchen, also an L-shape. There was a decent-sized refrigerator, ample cabinet space, and a four-burner stove. But there was no dishwasher and no full-sized oven—only a large toaster oven.

Beyond the kitchen was a short hallway leading to the bedrooms, broken up by the only bathroom. The "master" bedroom, if you could call it that, was first on the right, and Urami's room second on the left.

Beyond that, Urami hadn't felt compelled to glance over the listing anymore. Besides, she knew what her room looked like. She didn't need a picture to tell her.

When father and daughter came through the front door, the first thing they saw was Urami's mother, Tsubaki, sitting in the front room with the newspaper spread open on her lap. She was wearing jeans and a wide-striped T-shirt, accented by a single, white hair clip that did little to tame her deep-brown hair. The caramel and strawberry tones streaked through her locks had been done by a salon, but one could tell right away that the _style_ was one the woman had cut herself in a last-minute rush during the move. It had been an attempt at an angled bob, but rather than a clean, modern cut, the layers were sort of…everywhere. Also obvious was the fact that Tsubaki did not care—she was leaning back against the sofa, casually munching on a piece of plain toast, with her brown eyes fixed not on the newspaper but on the TV. That changed when Urami and her father announced their presence by shutting the door behind them and calling, "We're back!"

"Oh!" the woman said through her toast, glancing at her husband and daughter before turning off the TV and standing up. "Welcome home," she returned in greeting as she folded up the newspaper and set it down on the table.

She padded over to the genkan while finishing off her toast. "Did the both of you have a good day?"

"I did, indeed!" Rakuji answered warmly, as he picked up his briefcase from where he had set it to take off his shoes. "And you, Tsubaki? Did you finish the code you were working on?"

Hands on her hips, Tsubaki gave a light sigh. "Yes... It was a bit tricky considering the commands that will have to overlap later on in the project, but I got it done." She turned her attention to Urami. "What about you? How was your first day?"

Urami hesitated to answer on account of not knowing what her mother was expecting. Her father had accepted the "I don't know", but she knew Tsubaki would not. She would have to be more creative.

Surely, by now, Tsubaki was used to Urami's half-hearted reviews and less-than-satisfied opinions of the schools she went to, but Urami had learned that even expressing her distaste of a school or the general discomfort she felt in the classroom could not persuade her mother to join her side on the matter. Her father's opinion also could not be swayed; both her parents stood together on all their decisions, and Urami was never able to pit one against the other. She had tried even recently, before moving to Domino, yet the attempt was, per usual, in vain.

On point with her mother's question, her day had not been inherently bad, but it had not been good either. This was for a number of reasons, none of which her parents would care about: first, her dad had arrived on the school campus in a rather embarrassing fashion and assumed he was somehow going to help her fit in, but regardless of his opinion, the effects would likely become a nuisance in the long run.

Secondly, a group was already trying to befriend her, and for what was likely the same reason behind Rakuji's actions: to make her feel like she belonged. Urami didn't want that. Bonds like that, she had learned over time, were forged only to be broken some time later. Urami did not want to hurt others or to be hurt by letting herself fall into that trap again. Did her parents understand her logic? No. They always, always, encouraged her to find good people to talk to and befriend; they didn't want her to feel alone. She hated that argument, because her parents were the ones causing her to be alone by tearing away what friends she had the next time they relocated.

Thirdly, transferring to a new school weeks before summer break was not easy academically. Despite the presence of a standard syllabus, each school was still on slightly different levels and moving at different paces. Urami was behind to begin with, and having to miss school during the move had only put her more behind.

So, how should she even answer? How _had_ her first day been?

"...I survived," she declared finally, voice lacking any emotion whatsoever.

Tsubaki looked critical of her answer, and Urami feared for a second that she would challenge it, because there really wasn't much more she could add. To her relief, Tsubaki instead replaced the look with a bright smile a moment later. "That's a start! Good work today, then! You will get used to it in time."

"Yeah..." Urami mumbled quite unenthusiastically, and stepped past her mother, glad the exchange was over. She sat down at the table in the living room and began pulling out her books to attempt doing homework, making a point to put her back to the genkan.

Evidently, this too peaked Tsubaki's interest.

"Oh? I thought she was going to do that in the car," Tsubaki remarked curiously from where she was.

Rakuji sounded equally surprised. "I did too. Come to think of it, I didn't notice her do any at all though. I guess she just wanted to look out the window instead."

"Hm... Well, it's fine. We all need to get a little more familiar with this city, after all."

"That _is_ true!" agreed Rakuji in the same sentiment.

Urami heard both of them head into the office after that, probably to discuss some more work-related stuff before getting started on dinner. Only once she heard them begin talking rapidly with each other did she feel safe enough to disagree with their earlier sentiments.

"What's the point? We'll just move again, and it'll be the same, stupid story. We don't need to get used to this place at all," she muttered under her breath.

She growled at herself when she realized she had just written three words with completely wrong kanji.

* * *

The next day started out marginally better because Urami had left the pink jacket, which was a part of the mandatory Domino High School uniform, at home. Without the thicker material covering her arms, she was not as hot, and her commute to school was relatively more pleasant. She was only briefly greeted by the group she had met yesterday, and not prodded to join their conversation, so she was able to enjoy her solitude for the better part of the day.

Once school ended, she was called into the principal's office regarding the fact that she had broken dress code. While this in and of itself was not so bad (they had basically let her slide for that day since she was a new student), the discovery that she would absolutely _have_ to wear the darned jacket put her in a sour mood. She didn't like coats or jackets to begin with; only knit sweaters and pullover-type things. Jackets felt too restrictive, especially the ones used in uniforms—the material was just…stiff. She would much rather be comfortable than compliant with an uncomfortable dress code.

Right after Urami had been made aware of the unfortunate decree of jacket-wearing, she ran into that _group_ again, which only made her more irritable. Even though the hallway held few other students, and the windows which ran its length bathed it in light, Urami felt like she was cornered. They weren't going to give up just yet, were they?

"Hey! We kept seeing you around today but never got the chance to talk properly, except for this morning," Anzu began. She was standing in front of her friends as though she had previously decided it was her job to initiate the conversation. Urami tried to evaluate her again: her face was bright, her expression clear and hiding nothing. She seemed friendly enough. Genuine. Just the type of person who would be the one to try their hardest to be friends, and in turn be hurt the worst.

Urami gave a tense smile, but she didn't let it reach her eyes. "Hi," she offered, hoping the group would let her leave, but of course they didn't.

"Are you free this weekend? We're going to..." Anzu began, but Urami cut her off.

"Mazaki-san, I'm still very new here and I'd like to get more settled in before I start going out places with people," she recited, hoping the line didn't sound as scripted as it really was. She had thought it up the night before, after guessing that she would probably start getting invitations such as this one.

Of course, she didn't mean it one bit, but she couldn't be rude and _tell_ people that she didn't want to be friends with them. She wanted to avoid hurting others as much as she could, because she had already done far too much of that and did not want to go back to those habits. When it came down to it, she would rather suffer herself than cause others pain.

Still, it seemed that while she was getting better at keeping people away (emotionally, at least—that was the most important part), for whatever reason others were always attracted to her. Not only could she not fathom why, as she was convinced she was the most boring and awkward person on the planet, but it made her feel both flattered _and_ horribly guilty. She could _never_ live up to anyone's expectations. _Never_.

Anzu suddenly looked like a lightbulb had turned on inside her head. "Oh! Don't worry about it. I get it," she assured Urami. "If you ever want to know where something is, or help getting somewhere, don't be shy and ask, okay?" She smiled, "We'd be happy to help you get to know Domino."

Urami fought to keep her own (fake) smile on her face. Just _why_ were these people so intent on making her a part of their group? Didn't they realize she wasn't interested? Heck, she was trying to _spare_ them from the inevitable, should they somehow succeed in breaking down her barriers.

She was smiling on the outside, but in reality she just wanted to groan and walk away.

"Uh, thanks," she forced out awkwardly.

"So what'd you get called to the principal's office for?" the blonde boy—his name was Jou-something, wasn't it?—suddenly inquired with an odd grin.

Urami raised an eyebrow at the question, not because it was necessarily out of place, but because it had an obvious answer and apparently no one saw that. She held out one arm to the side at an acute angle to demonstrate the absence of long sleeves. "No jacket. I broke dress code."

It took a couple of seconds to get a reply. "...I _wondered_ what was different about you!"

The brunette sweatdropped.

"So what'd you break dress code for?" the same Jou-somebody asked, and Yugi (Urami remembered his name because he was the one who looked so…unique) followed with his own question:

"Did you just forget the jacket at home or something?"

Urami responded with a mild scowl. "No, I left it on purpose."

"What, do you not like it?" Anzu looked surprised. "This school has nice uniforms…"

"I just don't like jackets. That's all."

"But… You kinda _have_ to wear it, don't you? I mean, that's what 'mandatory' means."

"Hn. Maybe I'll just bring it to school and leave it in my locker."

Anzu sweatdropped. "I don't really think that will work…"

Urami shrugged. "Anyway, I need to go. My dad's supposed to be picking me up again today," she explained, turning on her heel and heading down the hallway.

"Alright. We'll walk you out again," she heard the other girl offer, and then the footsteps of the whole gang following behind.

Urami suppressed the urge to run ahead just to get away from them; instead muttering a tight "Thanks" and keeping her pace at a walk. They hadn't gone far before encountering a small distraction, however.

"How 'bout 'Uyamin'?" Jou-whatever-the-rest-of-his-name-was suggested out of the blue, causing Urami to come to an sudden halt. She whirled around to face him, wondering what she had missed. The others' activity had also ceased; everyone stared at him in unison.

Honda was the one who posed the question. "Uh… What?"

"For her nickname," elaborated Jou, as though it should be obvious.

"Oh," Urami realized, relaxing a fraction. "Yeah, that's usually the nickname I'm given."

Jou blinked in surprise. "Are you serious? Ha, it took a long time for me to come up with that one, too…"

"So it's okay with you if we call you that, then?" Anzu questioned cheerfully.

Making sure that her facial expression remained neutral, Urami simply gave a minute nod in response. She honestly couldn't care whether they called her by her standard nickname or an original one. She didn't care if they called her by name at all, but she didn't want to hurt their feelings by telling them to shove off. She had experimented with that method at her previous school and ended up with the reputation of a tsundere jerk for the better part of the year (and even then a few happy-go-lucky girls had continuously attempted to befriend her).

So instead, she turned her back to the "pals" and resumed her journey to the school's front doors, never noticing the mildly-confused looks on the others' faces at her less-than-normal choice of action.

Once outside a few minutes later, Urami decided to try communicating with the students trailing behind her again, but only because she could tell that the car up ahead was her father's, and she would be able to escape soon. She couldn't really remember anyone's last name besides Anzu's, so she addressed her specifically.

"Uh… Mazaki-san—and the rest of you, thanks for…walking me out again, I think."

To her surprise, there was a significant pause. Had she said something wrong?

"Uh, you're welcome," Anzu replied, looking slightly bemused. "It looks like you know the way now though."

Urami found no need to reply to that, since it was true. Besides, she was getting ever closer to her goal (the car), and it was easier for her to say goodbye to people she was trying to avoid than it was to say hello. With any luck, she would be able to drop a few parting words without incident, and be on her way. The days to follow, well, she would have to take them as they came.

Today Rakuji did not get out of the car, because Urami had complained so much about him embarrassing her the previous day. Nonetheless, he gave her a warm smile as she approached the vehicle, and nodded to the group behind her in a silent-but-friendly greeting. Urami took that as her cue to excuse herself, and momentarily shifted to face the "pals".

"Well, until tomorrow, Mazaki-san; everyone," she chirped happily.

"Yozaihou-san… No, _Uyamin_ , if you need us to repeat our names, we can," Anzu quipped with a slight grin.

Urami started. The other girl was surprisingly perceptive, even if she wasn't entirely accurate. Urami remembered the first names of most of the group, save for the rest of Jou's name and the white-haired boy. If Anzu was referring to first names, she was (mostly) wrong. She didn't get much of a chance to deny anything, though. Anzu kept talking.

"You don't have to be so formal."

So she _had_ been referring to first names.

"It's...what I'm used to," Urami explained, feeling behind her for the door handle. It was partially true. Ordinarily, she would call others whatever she wanted to, but after her... _reform_ , she had begun making more of an effort to be polite—if only to keep distance between her and others. Now was no exception.

Yugi's response, in a sense, let her off the hook, but Urami neglected to read into it; instead taking it at face value—something she often did. "That's fine. We don't want to force you into anything, after all."

Silently, the brunette opened the car door and ducked inside her mobile refuge.

"So these are your new friends, then?" Rakuji asked her right away.

Rolling her eyes, Urami ignored the question and wordlessly pulled the door shut behind her. However, a cursory glance out the window rewarded her with the reminder that the "pals" were still standing there, and Urami was surprised to see them waving at her.

 _I'm really going to be stuck with them, aren't I?_ she thought in dismay.

Urami offered the group a return wave out of courtesy, but once the car rolled away from them, she dropped her hand and let out a sigh of relief. She was free from them…for now.

* * *

 _ ***A/N: Hi, everyone!** So you know how authors often say how much they revise their first chapters? Well…it's true. I've rewritten much of this chapter many times… I honestly didn't think I would, but yep, it happened. You have no idea how happy I am to have this chapter done ;A; Also, thanks to Clemell, my lovely beta reader, for helping me polish this chapter!_

 _ **Translations:** (they will lessen considerably in later chapters; don't worry)_  
 _+"Yozaihou Urami" - "Yozaihou" means "world treasure" and "Urami" means "resentment"._  
 _+"Yoroshiku onegaishimasu" conveys a sense of goodwill or taking care of someone/something. In this case it's similar to "please treat me/him/her well" or "I am in your care"._  
 _+"Genkan" is the entryway in a Japanese house or establishment where you remove your shoes and can usually swap them for slippers so you don't get the floors dirty. I use this word rather than "entryway" because I think it has a fairly specific connotation. (For more information, search "genkan" on Wikipedia.)_  
 _+"Tsundere" is a term used to describe a person who is perhaps harsh or cold on the outside (tsuntsun), but is really a caring, tender person on the inside (deredere)._


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